The title of this talk has been on my mind lately. I don’t even remember what the whole talk is about, but my goodness, it has been a rough few weeks! As I lay in bed all day on Mother’s Day with mastitis, feeling like a truck had run me over…literally, I read all sorts of blog posts and Facebook statuses about how wonderful motherhood is. Now, don’t get me wrong—really, don’t—I LOVE being a mom! There is absolutely nothing I would rather be doing. There are no other people I would rather spend my days with than my two little girls—not that I don’t like a little time off from them now and then--but I wouldn’t rather be working and sharing my day with anyone else. My little girls are amazing little people and are completely irreplaceable—I love my job!
However…I have had a hard few weeks! I’m certain (hopeful?) that all of you mother’s have felt the same way. This being a mom of more than one person—both of which have very different, yet distinct and demanding needs—is draining! How’s that for alliteration? Elna is pretty awesome. She is talking tons and tons lately. She knows hundreds of words and loves repeating new words that I say all day long. She has just this week caught onto the idea of phrases and is connecting things left and right—I love seeing her brain working! She’s learning so fast. She says funny thing and notices funny things. She sometimes calls Brian “Bri” because she hears me say that all the time. She LOVES to play tag and run and has the best high squealing laugh when she plays. She can be helpful and charming, and so sweet and kind. She can also be so challenging—when I ask her to do something (or not to do something) she just looks at me and then goes about doing (or not doing) exactly what I asked her to do. She is emotional! She wants and loves and deserves so much attention!
Harriet is the sweetest and most happy little baby, but oh my goodness, my brain is fried from thinking about her and her schedule. She is the worlds worst napper! I have tried all sorts of sleep systems—Babywise, 90 minute sleep solution, rocking her to sleep all the time, and now back to Babywise, and nothing really seems to working—and I am spent! I am completely consumed by trying to get her to sleep and have a hard time thinking about anything but her sleep—or lack thereof.
Brian came home from work today to a mama who hasn’t showered in days and is covered in spit—I seriously have spit-up all over my sweatshirt, down my sleeve on my arm, and in my hair. I’m wearing the same clothes I was wearing yesterday morning and I currently have a diaper in my bra in lieu of a nursing pad because I couldn’t find one and I was spraying everywhere. After being home 15 minutes, Brian left for scouts. I hate scouts. I’m a really bad sharer. I’m so not ready for Brian to have a bigger calling. Can you tell? I think I should probably go and actually read that talk now!
And really, how tough can life be when I get to see these smiles every day?
It gets better! I promise! And everyone, has hard stretches. Just lower your expectations for the house. Set up a pack-n-play or bouncy seat in the bathroom, and get a shower in. But just know it gets better! I remember not even changing my clothes after getting peed on... it just wasn't worth the effort! Ha!
ReplyDeleteLucy I know it's hard for you right now but this is just a flash in the pan! Hang in there you are doing a great job with your darling girls! Hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard isn't it! I have had one really bad sleeper, one really good sleeper, and one middle of the pack sleeper and I am the same mom and do the same things. I have come to realize that some kids are good sleepers and some are bad sleepers and that is that! Babywise and other programs can help, but the best thing I learned was to relax about it. Yes, I was really tired with the bad sleeper, but when I stopped stressing over trying to get them to sleep, I felt SOOO much better. My one son would only nap for 10 minutes when I layed him down. So I would get him to sleep, lay him down, jump in the shower and then go get him and go on with my day and not worry about it and an hour later, lay him down again. Eventually after a few months, he started sleeping longer and better. Anyways, I guess I just wanted to say that you are doing good and to not stress about the sleep thing unless you want to stress about it! And when people tell you that their baby sleeps through the night and takes 3 hour naps, just roll your eyes and think of how lucky you are to get to see your baby so much...ha ha. And go eat some skittles to make you feel better :)
ReplyDeleteIm pretty sure every mom has been where you are now! Don't give up!!! All you can do is try. SLY
ReplyDeleteLucy, I know we don't know each other well (AT ALL! lol), but I love reading your blog not only because I love to see how Brian's family is all doing, but also because you share some of the same things that I'm thinking with my two littles, who are also 22 months apart and just a few months older than your two. My lil' girl just turned 5 months old, and this week was one of the hardest I've had (she doesn't sleep well at night and that makes me a beast during the day!) - but in reading your post here, I thought about how true it is that getting to spend time with them is wonderful. Sometimes that makes the hard times even harder, because I feel guilty that I don't actually enjoy them all the time. I had this thought though as I read through your struggles (which are similar to mine at the moment) - I need to just relax and let go more. They'll be okay, I'll be okay, and we'll all be much happier if I don't stress so much! So anyway, thanks for your post, because it helped me realize something I'd forgotten - and I hope you get some relief soon in some form!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you have had a hard time. It's such an adjustment to go from 1-2 babies. Not just double the work -- it's like 5x the work. You can do it though. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteLucy, my little guy never ever napped in his crib, he just completely refused. But once we put him in a swing, he slept for 1-2 hours each nap. I know swing sleeping is not ideal, but anything to get them sleep, right?
ReplyDeleteOh Lucy--I just love you!!!--SO much!! I have totally been there--two kids is hard! Even though you love them to pieces, sometimes its just hard! I had to smile at your description of yourself--I've definitely been that mom too--I think every mom has! I think I just smelled like spit up also for most of Madeline's first year! --and I'm sure in just 3 1/2 months I'll be smelling like it again! :) We really really need to chat soon-- love you and hang in there!
ReplyDeleteMay I remind you of this moment: http://www.hokiehut.blogspot.com/2009_02_01_archive.html
ReplyDeleteThere are many very challenging parts of mothering. Enjoy the good moments in the day. Life will get better as Elna and Hattie grow. Mothering is very hard. BUT it's also my favorite trial.