The title of this talk has been on my mind lately. I don’t even remember what the whole talk is about, but my goodness, it has been a rough few weeks! As I lay in bed all day on Mother’s Day with mastitis, feeling like a truck had run me over…literally, I read all sorts of blog posts and Facebook statuses about how wonderful motherhood is. Now, don’t get me wrong—really, don’t—I LOVE being a mom! There is absolutely nothing I would rather be doing. There are no other people I would rather spend my days with than my two little girls—not that I don’t like a little time off from them now and then--but I wouldn’t rather be working and sharing my day with anyone else. My little girls are amazing little people and are completely irreplaceable—I love my job!
However…I have had a hard few weeks! I’m certain (hopeful?) that all of you mother’s have felt the same way. This being a mom of more than one person—both of which have very different, yet distinct and demanding needs—is draining! How’s that for alliteration? Elna is pretty awesome. She is talking tons and tons lately. She knows hundreds of words and loves repeating new words that I say all day long. She has just this week caught onto the idea of phrases and is connecting things left and right—I love seeing her brain working! She’s learning so fast. She says funny thing and notices funny things. She sometimes calls Brian “Bri” because she hears me say that all the time. She LOVES to play tag and run and has the best high squealing laugh when she plays. She can be helpful and charming, and so sweet and kind. She can also be so challenging—when I ask her to do something (or not to do something) she just looks at me and then goes about doing (or not doing) exactly what I asked her to do. She is emotional! She wants and loves and deserves so much attention!
Harriet is the sweetest and most happy little baby, but oh my goodness, my brain is fried from thinking about her and her schedule. She is the worlds worst napper! I have tried all sorts of sleep systems—Babywise, 90 minute sleep solution, rocking her to sleep all the time, and now back to Babywise, and nothing really seems to working—and I am spent! I am completely consumed by trying to get her to sleep and have a hard time thinking about anything but her sleep—or lack thereof.
Brian came home from work today to a mama who hasn’t showered in days and is covered in spit—I seriously have spit-up all over my sweatshirt, down my sleeve on my arm, and in my hair. I’m wearing the same clothes I was wearing yesterday morning and I currently have a diaper in my bra in lieu of a nursing pad because I couldn’t find one and I was spraying everywhere. After being home 15 minutes, Brian left for scouts. I hate scouts. I’m a really bad sharer. I’m so not ready for Brian to have a bigger calling. Can you tell? I think I should probably go and actually read that talk now!
And really, how tough can life be when I get to see these smiles every day?
